As featured on Lose The Cape
Being an adult in real life with real adult responsibilities is not only time consuming but exhausting. In the movies, adult life consists of brunches, long boozy lunches and kids come with nannies. In real life, being an adult raising kids is messy, stressful and often has me wishing for a pause button. If there’s anything I’ve learned since becoming a mom is how imperative it is to improvise when it comes to nurturing relationships with those important people in our lives.
How I connect with …
Teachers: Knowing my daughter’s teachers is important to me, especially since they are watching one of the most significant people in my life. Luckily, my daughter’s preschool is really big on communication. Parents get daily updates, weekly email announcements of upcoming events, and a monthly newsletter. When her teacher asked for volunteer room moms I expected to hear only mom’s who were available during school hours could sign up but I was wrong. “Maybe you can help with emails or things of that nature,” the teacher told me when I asked whether or not working moms were eligible for the position(s). So far I’ve been able to help by
making fliers and sign-up sheets special events. Email has been a huge line of communication between the school and myself as the director answers questions regarding anything from how my daughter is adjusting to school to letting them know what’s been happening at home i.e. a new baby can really shake up a toddler’s world. It’s reassuring to know I can call or email her teachers with any questions I have.
My daughters: My personal time with my kids are the late afternoon hours, right before the evening becomes a blur of picking out clothes for school, making lunches, paying bills and bath time. I’m blessed with a job that allows me to work from 7 a.m.-3:30 p.m. which allows me to beat traffic and still be home in time before the sun goes down. The afternoons vary depending on the week’s schedule – sometimes a doctor’s appointment will throw off our usual plans, or a play date or school event will sneak onto the calendar – but for the most part, our afternoons are spent taking walks to the park just the three of us. Sometimes my husband will join us, which is also nice. Then it’s back home for dinner, some play time and getting ready to do it all again the next day. The weekends are divided between running errands, family gathering and reconnecting as a family. Sometimes my husband will take the toddler to run errands while I stay home with the infant and tend to chores around the house – with some reality television watching thrown in. I try to use our free time wisely and really connect with my girls, whether that means visiting a pumpkin patch, story time at the library or playing in the playroom.
Friends & Family: Texting is seriously the lifeline between my friends and I. Every morning I type out a good morning or TGIF to my two closest girlfriends and we remain in contact throughout the day, keeping one another in the know. Group texting is the way I connect with family and is the simplest way to pass on photos and videos of the kids. Email is how I keep in contact with my former college roommate, passing on links to articles and catching up every few weeks. New friends, old friends: email and texting keep our friendships going strong. And many times our texting and emailing lead to setting up a day to meet up.
Husband: This may be the hardest person for me to connect with on a daily basis if only because his job requires back to back meetings and long commutes leaving little time to respond to texts or emails. Our main time to connect is in the mornings before the kids are up and it’s just the two of us getting ready for the day. We’ll talk about our schedules, plans for the day, decide who will tackle any chores that need to get done that day, and anything else that we may have forgotten to mention the night before due to little humans constant interruptions. Then like that, we are gone from one another, existing in our own orbits of work and responsibilities, finally coming back to one another at the end of the day where we check in with one another, ask about each other’s days, complain about co-workers, seek advice, turn to one another for acknowledgement or support.
At dinner, we have a no phone or TV policy, which requires the four of us to talk to one another and catch up on our day. By bedtime, we are too exhausted to have long conversations and more often than not, a toddler or infant is a buffer between us in bed. So we will whisper to one another, sharing stories we forgot to mention at dinner, or marvel at how our daughters are growing; how our lives have changed.