Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Brynna: 30 Months

*Brynna, my little firecracker, how can it be that you are inching closer and closer to 3? It seems as though time is moving too fast as I want these young, carefree years to stay longer -- forever.

Admittedly 2 has been a rough age as your father and I navigate the peaks and valleys of your emotions all while trying to balance being disciplinarians and those fun parents that you once ran to for hugs, laughs and, well, everything.

Some days you are all about us: holding our hands and asking us to play games with you, cuddling on the couch or making up funny songs with us. Letting us join you in your world of make believe and imaginary scenes.

Other days you want to be left alone with plenty of space to figure out your own way. Only asking us to step in when you need help or asking us to do things on your terms.

And, if I'm being honest, although I love watching you trying to do so many things on your own, -- it also makes me sad and a little lonely.

Because you see, My Boom Boom, you were my first. You made me a mom. Before you, my free time consisted ofwith watching TV, writing, relaxing, shopping; that all changed when you came along as those free hours were immediately  been filled with everything Brynna. And I don't know how to fill those spaces of time as you pull away from me.

Yes, I have your sister, but our time -- yours and mine -- still stands. I got used to those afternoons spending time at the park, or reading to you at the library, painting outside or playing tea party wearing princess crowns.

Now, you want to play pretend with your dolls, replacing me with one of the princesses. You enjoy the park with other kids -- quickly making friends once we get there, leaving me to watch on the sidelines. Now I'm left reminiscing how I was once your favorite playmate.

But oh how you thrive on your own.

At 2 1/2 years old, you can hold a conversation, are potty trained, stand up for yourself -- and your sister -- and speak your mind. You love making new friends, dressing up, dancing and making up funny songs.

You can be relentless at times and are very strong willed. Something that makes me proud -- but a little frustrated as you constantly push back and push boundaries.

This age is a windstorm of emotions, highs and lows, tears and smiles -- and we are along for the ride.

And so we ride those waves with you.

And so here I wait, as an observer. Always ready and willing to follow your lead, play on your terms, hug, jump, run, cuddle, or simply hold you when needed.

You will always be one of my favorite people.

Love you more than you know,

Mom




Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Brylin: 7 months

* My Girl you are 7 months! I can't believe how quickly you are growing. Here's 7 things I love about you right now:

1. Your smile especially not that you have a (sharp!) tiny tooth. It's just so cute! A second one is coming in any day now.

2. The way you reach for me. You love being held by your Nana, Dada and Tia Becky but absolutely love spending time with your Mama and it shows as you lean toward me with one arm extended anytime I come close to you.

3. How you take your time. You did not officially roll over until 6 1/2 months, which freaked me out. The first time you rolled over I had my back to you as I filed a story. It took a lot of prodding to get you to do it again. Those moments help me realize you're on your own schedule -- not mine.

4. Your disposition is overall happy and laid back BUT you do have your moments of frustration and fussiness. Specially when we try to leave you in the walker or jumper as we eat. Nope, not having it. You thrive on interaction and I love seeing your attitude develop.

5. Snuggles. You're all about grabbing faces, open mouth kisses, and pulling people close to you. Your sister is starting to warm up to your little hugs and tends to pat you on the head, which you don't seem to mind.

6. Your voice is something that can be heard throughout the house these days as you test out your vocal range. If your sister yells, you yell. If everyone is talking then you throw in your 2 cents. Dada is still your word of choice but you mirror my mouth when I say Mama.

7. Your focus is amazing. You will not take your eyes off something that you want, whether it's the remote control, Brynna's Anna doll (still working on sharing), or Mom's coffee -- you are persistent! last week you focused on my hands as they demonstrated how to clap and wave -- a few days later you succeeded in doing the same!

We love watching you grow, My Girl.

Love you more than you know,

Mom


Monday, July 20, 2015

Sorrynotsorry

I owe several moms  an apology. 

I'm sorry to all those moms who I've watched drag their toddlers out of the store kicking and screaming. And I must apologize to the parent who has let their child cry it out in a busy restaurant.

I'm so So SO sorry.

I'm sorry for judging you and thinking I could handle the situation a whole lot better.

I'm sorry for being annoyed by you for not taking your kid home so that I could enjoy my meal.

I'm sorry for not allowing you to get in line first although I was kid-free with a few items and you had your cart and hands full with a crying toddler and whiny tween.

I'm sorry.

Because now I understand that it's not that your child was a brat, or being raised improperly ('cause really who is anyone to judge others parenting ways), or was spoiled.


Now I get that kids are driven by crazy-wild emotions that surge through their tiny bodies and explode in rages over the smallest things, or pour out through cries, tears or talking back.

It wasn't your fault they were upset. Most likely it was because it was too hot, they didn't want to wear pants, someone looked at them wrong, the sky was blue!

With two under the age of two, I see that as much as I try to reign in my toddler's emotions sometimes I just can't. They are little people with big feelings that they are still learning how to control. Sometimes they can and sometimes they can't.

Now I understand that sometimes the only way to eat in a restaurant after failing to settle them down or divert their attention  is to ignore some rude behaviors because if you give in to every cry it feels as if you are taking 10 steps back. So you stay and eat all the while praying and hoping that this too shall pass and your wonderful, sweet baby girl will reappear.

Now I say let others stare and throw shade your way because, really, who cares. They don't know that this is your first meal of the day or just how trying your morning has been. They don't remember what is was like to have a toddler -- they repressed those not-so-fun moments.

I'm sorry for thinking "poor kid" after hearing a mom raise her voice in the toy aisle at Target.

Um, no. Now it's more like "poor mom."

I understand how difficult practicing patience can be as you constantly talk to yourself to handle the situation calmly and really listen before setting down ground rules, offering an ultimatum or losing your shit.

I'm sorry.

But I can tell you what I'm not sorry for: constantly apologizing for a toddler's behavior. So to that mom who gave me the side eye in the food line at Legoland this past weekend when I scolded my daughter  -- in public -- with threats that not only would she not have a juice box, but would not be watching Smurfs because she refused to stop running through my legs as I juggled holding the infant, paying for food and keeping her close by, please remember we all have those days when we are at our wits end.

And, no, I won't apologize for making your wait in line that much more miserable because my little girl has yet to master patience.

So to all those mamas out there in the midst of all this crazy toddler Jekyll and Hyde behavior -- I'm on your side! And for those who have been there and made it through -- kudos for getting out of it with grace and plenty of stories to hold over their heads for the rest of their lives!

Me