Thursday, October 24, 2013

11 Things That Prove You’re a Parent

11 Things That Prove You’re a Parent

It’s been a rough couple of weeks at the Brody house. Four stubborn teeth are taking their sweet ass time breaking through Brynna’s gums which only adds to her discomfort. Oh, and we are starting to wean, and learn to drink milk from a sippy cup. A lot is going on at one time and we are all paying the consequences. Although we love the extra cuddles Brynna has been giving these past few weeks, the waking up in the middle of the night and her refusal to sleep in her crib is not so great. This morning I arrived at work with my necklace on backwards, a venti coffee in hand and a look that can only be described as someone who only got five hours of sleep.  You know that new parent look.
Here are a few more clues that have made me realize I’m like really a parent now.
  • I’ve given up on holding off on wearing my favorite tops/skirts/jeans until Brynna gets older in fear that she will mess them up. The reality: Those clothing items would never get worn again! I’ve accepted that my clothes will most likely end up with some sort of stain by day’s end. Messes are going to happen. Shirts from Forever21 weren’t meant to last a lifetime
 Um, Brynna, you left your yum yum on my jacket. 
  • Finishing a hot cup of coffee = success. How many lattes have been tossed out because only a few warm sips were enjoyed before someone needed attention? Too many to count. So, I feel pretty darn proud of myself when I finish a hot cup of coffee. Same goes for eating a hot meal.
  • I’ve officially grown eyes in the back, and side of my head. Seriously, I firmly believe parents sprout extra eyes and some sort of weird powers to detect where their kid is at all times.  They can be staring right at you and at the same time know their child is heading for the kitchen cabinets/ climbing a couch or about to swat the dog. No joke.
  • Those crying kids in restaurants that once bothered me are now just background noise. In fact, I prefer to dine in restaurants with a bunch of kids underfoot. It means my family is not an outcast.
  • No more running out the door with just a purse or clutch. It’s more like hello diaper bag or in my case, diaper bag and usually a smaller tote bag full of Elmos, toys, and a sippy cup. Oh and maybe an extra shirt and pair of shoes just in case. Wait, and an extra blanket. And a beanie …
  • Yoga pants are my best friend and worst enemy. Those super comfy-able-to-be-paired-with-almost-anything-form-fitting-pants are a staple for many people, especially this mom. Specifically during those early months of maternity leave. I found myself wearing them so much that I forced myself to pack them away in my “maternity clothes” bin. Is it weird that I miss them?
  • I’m able to detect a blow-out diaper from an ordinary poopy diaper. IS it weird/gross? Probably, but it comes with the territory.
  • I seldom wear high heels.  And if I do it’s only for a very special occasion. Now I may be alone on this one but after attempting to balance myself while carrying Brynna, I’ve realized flats work best. I just haven’t conquered the baby-carrying in heels skill yet. But I hope to.
  • Multitasking is the norm because you usually always have a kid on your hip or dog on your lap. Or both are underfoot as you try to cook, make  a bottle and dodge tupperware being thrown all over the floor.
  • My free time is important. Every. Single. Minute. I haven’t been to the movies in months. Star Trek. That was the last movie we saw. Still can’t believe I wasted my free time on that!
  • Nothing is done alone. Those annoying friends who warned you “you’d never go to the bathroom alone,” weren’t kidding. Now that Brynna is crawling she is everywhere! That means that if I have to go to the bathroom/sort the mail/pick out clothes/go shopping (A must!) she’s with me. Or Porkchop and Beans are with me. I’m not joking – they have to be wherever we are now. It’s like having three kids. Of course Alex and I switch off to allow each other an hour or two of solitude but if we only attempted to be productive while the other watched over Brynna, very little would get accomplished.
Yes, that’s Beans on our bed. And yes she’s too big to be sleeping with us. 
Have anything else to add to this list?
Me